guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
