so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
