This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
