What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
