he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
