just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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