i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
