actually, I'm a sock model
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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