I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
