I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Randomize
