I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i was born a porn star she said
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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