North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
