you win again, gameday.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
