I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
