FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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