I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
operation harelip BJ is a go
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
