Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
