I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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