I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize