took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This toilet bowl is my home.
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