Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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