I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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