I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
