i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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