I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize