i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
