Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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