I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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