dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
