Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
