Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize