Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
