i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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