Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
