Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
