Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
why didn't you poke me back
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
