she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just gift wrapped bread.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
