Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
