who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
