Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
