when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize