if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
