you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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