see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
