Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She bit a glass in half.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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