We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
