New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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