I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
