i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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