her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
