I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
