Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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