Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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