I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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