normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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