i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
