I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
