I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize