he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
