Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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