Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
