I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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