i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
