i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
