I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
