C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
