I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
